Summertime Relationships: Fling or Love?

Thursday, 26 June 2008 19:28 Written by  Ebone McCloud

It's hot out!!! Small shorts, high heels, and backless tops are tightly placed on the ladies' bodies and the guy's eyes are glued to the sight. With all of this action, it isn't hard to find someone (or maybe even a few) to be "booed up" with for the summer.

ImageThe summertime always allows for single, and not so single, guys and ladies to be free and enjoy the option of playing the field. Having someone to call your boyfriend/girlfriend is the last choice on the dating menu. A fling is more along the lines of what a lot of people are doing.

"Flings have no obligations and there is a mutual understanding that there is no obligation," says Nia Hall, 21. "Flings don't last long."

The option of not "lasting long" can seem scary for some, but for others, flings work out nicely. Having a fling is low risk until you start to like the person a lot more than what you expected. Although it doesn't happen a lot, flings can turn into something more––a relationship. Relationships hold much more weight than a fling does, but in the summer relationships tend to have less of a chance at standing strong.

"I think they [people] think that the summer is just to have fun," says Tamara White, licensed clinical professional mental health counselor in training at DePaul University. "I think that some men think that the summer is when they have a ball and 'kick it'. Some women think that they are going to find someone to make a relationship out of it. However, summer is usually for flings," says White.

"The summer time is about freedom, having fun, and sometimes you can't be free if you are in a relationship," says Hall. "People use the summertime as a perfect excuse to get away from a relationship."

True. The summer can be a way to flee from the relationship that someone is in. This, however, is not always a good thing. It depends on the way the couple acts during these scorching summer months when they are around body baring people, or when they are around each other.

"I think that in my own relationship [during the summer], me wearing less clothes turns him on more," says Jessica Covey, 26. "He doesn't get jealous."

Although there are a lot of people who break up during the summer, there are some whose relationships strengthen. If your relationship is strong, there shouldn't be much that can break it, no matter what season it is.

"I think that you are more active in your relationships in the summer," says Covey. "There are more things to do in the summer than in the winter. You don't want to go out during the winter."

However, for those who are just looking for a good time, a fling may be your best bet. No strings attached, no full-hearted emotions, no nothing, just, well, whatever you'd prefer.

"A fling is something that you know is not going to go any further," says Akeea Barker, 20.

Very accurate. But what about when the feelings overflow and one half of the pair wants more than what the other is willing to give. Can a summer fling actually turn into something real?

"Definitely because a lot of people don't go into it thinking that this is going to be my girlfriend/boyfriend," say Letita Brodnax. "That person that you thought would just be around for a couple of months can turn into somebody that might be around for a while. You don't know a person until you really get to know them."

Just "letting it happen" during the summer serves as the best dating option. If you don't want to fall into something and want it to just be a temporary thing, go down the 'fling' road but be sure that the understanding of no obligation is clear on both ends. If the relationship comes, then the summer fling turned into the real thing!!!
*Photo by GMO Photographer Billy Montgomery.  Models: Monique Parrel and J Will
Ebone McCloud

Ebone McCloud

Ebone’ McCloud studied at Columbia College Chicago, where she majored in magazine writing journalism with a concentration in fashion. She is currently working on starting her own clothing line and fashion focused events company while doing freelance work for magazines and the fashion industry.

Ebone’ can be reached at