The 26-year-old author, life/relationship coach, motivational speaker, mind coach to several athletes, screenwriter, film producer and consultant said that the message he wants to spread through his work can be summed up with this quote from author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar: “You can get all you want out of life if you help enough others get all they want out of life.”
And Gaskins is doing just that. The Auburndale, Fl., native grew up in a home plagued by domestic abuse and used that experience as fuel to spread awareness about it and provide guidance to those affected by it. And instead of continuing the cycle of violence, he said, “I realized that it (being in an abusive relationship) isn't love; it's actually hate and I wanted to find real love and teach others what real love is also.”
Gaskins has been featured on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” as a guest to tell how domestic abuse affected his life, and on “The Tyra Banks Show” as an expert speaking to those who were involved in abusive relationships. In 2009, he released his book, What Daddy Should Have Told His Little Girl, an updated version of his 2007 bestseller What Daddy Never Told His Little Girl. Both books divulge details about secrets of the male behavior and answers frequently asked questions from women about cheating, celibacy, emotional and physical abuse.
“Women inspired [the book],” he said. “I was asked to give away the insight that I did in this book. So the book idea was a woman's idea, and the title was a woman’s title––I was just the author.”
With the onslaught of media coverage about black women and their lack of love and marriage, Gaskins said that the information that is being put out there is accurate. “I travel the country speaking, and I can see firsthand that 70 percent, if not more, of professional black women are single,” he said. “I can also see firsthand that there really is a shortage of good men. I know this isn’t the perfect picture for hope, but it’s reality, and it will only get worse unless black fathers become more present and relevant in our world.”
Throughout the duration of his career, Gaskins revealed that one of the most shocking things that he learned about the African American community was its lack of support of one another.
“We don't support one another how other cultures support one another, and that's sad,” he said. “It's like we feel that the world will only accept some of us, so we are in constant competition, instead of being a coalition.”
Learn more about Tony Gaskins on his website at TonyGaskins.com.
