To Kiss or Not Kiss: A look at how same sex relationships are looked at today

Friday, 05 September 2008 14:44 Written by  Priya A. Shah

It doesn’t matter if it’s two teenagers kissing in the back row of a movie theater, or an old married couple pecking each other on the cheek as they feed the pigeons in the park. In today’s world we’re used to seeing heterosexual kissing everywhere. Homosexual kissing is usually looked upon as unusual and when some people actually spot a gay couple kissing, they stare at them as if it’s the most unnatural thing in the world. But is there really a significant difference between homosexual kissing and heterosexual kissing?

When I first heard Katy Perry’s song, “I Kissed A Girl,” I fell in love with it. I blasted it in my car when it came on the radio. I downloaded it so I could listen to it when I’m walking, or when I hop on the CTA. I sang it loudly to my friends and in the shower. But although the lyrics of the song grabbed my attention and made me bob my head to the beat I didn’t realize that the lyrics of the song could be offending other people.

“Have you heard the song?!”  23-year-old student Danelle Wylder said clearly upset with the lyrics of the song. Wylder is a lesbian, though she would rather prefer to be called sexually ambiguous. In the song, the lyrics say “it’s not what good girls do, not how they should behave,” and those words are probably what ticked Wylder off the most. According to Wylder’s translation, those two lines means that the artist is saying that for a girl to kiss a girl is taboo and that there is something wrong with it. “And she makes it clear that she has a boyfriend in the song. Her songs bring negativity towards the gay community.” Wylder also expressed anger towards the song Your So Gay, also by Katy Perry, which in her opinion, points out the stereotypes of a gay man. “It explains what a man should be,” said Wylder.

Although gay stereotyping and hatred has been around for decades (even after the Gay Rights Movement) it’s apparent that a girl kissing a girl is more accepted than a guy kissing a guy. What if the song was sung by a male artist and titled “I kissed a boy?” Would reactions be different? For one, it is known for males to have a fantasy of joining two girls kissing as the third party. How many girls do we know think that a male kissing a male is hot? Girls kissing one another have become popular in a sense throughout the decades, especially in today’s youth culture where it can be called an experiment and harmless fun instead of homosexuality. “Two girls kissing can indicate the idea of a threesome but in a long term lesbian relationship, the penis is no longer needed,” said Wylder.

And still to this day, certain people follow their religious beliefs where homosexuality is completely forbidden and they act as if it doesn’t exist. But gay and lesbian couples are out there in this very critical world that we live in and they are out there showing public affection, which means holding hands, hugging and yes, even kissing. Kissing—it’s a very intimate thing that two people who like/love each other share, and although we’re not in elementary school anymore, we still get the occasional oh’s and ah’s. And sometimes it’s worse, when the oh’s and ah’s become a demand of boo’s and no’s. Wylder believes that heterosexual and homosexual kissing in public should be looked upon the same way and be treated the same. Even though many people would agree with Wylder’s opinions, sometimes we forget the world is still a shallow place, and that people everywhere are judging everything and everyone including me and you. But as Wylder says, change happens with one person at a time.


Priya A. Shah

Priya A. Shah

Priya A. Shah lives in Chicago. She graduated from Columbia College Chicago in 2010, where she studied magazine journalism and fiction writing. She has been a staff writer for GMO since 2007. She’s written and interned for various media outlets such as India Tribune, Today's Chicago Woman, Tribune Media Services, GlossMagazineOnline and Echo (the student produced magazine for Columbia College Chicago). She’s contributed to A Fresh Squeeze (afreshsqueeze.com), an online publication for green living in Chicago, and her school newspaper, The Columbia Chronicle.

Priya can be reached at Priya@glossmagazineonline.com or Priyaashvin@gmail.com