Love and Marriage: Young and Married

Friday, 01 January 2010 18:58 Written by  Samantha Battle

Many couples who have been together a while take that next step in progressing their relationship by getting married, which is predictable, right? Almost everyone wants to get married some day, yet some couples are choosing to jump the broom earlier, starting their lives with that special person sometimes in their teen years.

wedBy marrying at a young age, it is believed that couples are more susceptible to get a divorce because they rushed into marriage. There are factors that come into play and many questions others may ask, such as what if that person isn’t the right one or do you really know what you want yet in a relationship since this is all you know?

“Sometimes young couples rush into a marriage and don’t really know each other and therefore it turns into a bad relationship,” said Richard Moore, a college student.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, women were getting married as young as 20-years-old while men were a bit older, marrying as early as 22 years of age in the 1960s. There has been an increase in the age of young women and men getting married. In 2007, the youngest age was 25 for women and 27 for men. It seems like today, to get married is going is almost like going back to the sixties as there are some people getting married as young as 18.

Kiara Stanton married her high school sweetheart after years of dating. Kiara was only 18 when she got married and her husband, who is now in the Navy, was 20. There is the first question of knowing if the person you are about to marry is the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. Some might suggest that being so young, you may not know because you still have the rest of your life to live and experience different things. Further, some people question if young married couples are able to make it for the long haul and not end up in divorce court.

“I think couples that reach the point of divorce have many factors that contribute to it, and being married young can be one. It depends on the relationship,” Stanton said. “My husband is my best friend and party buddy! We go out, we enjoy each other and we've decided to put off children, so we're not overwhelmed, bored, feeling trapped, or like we're missing out on anything. Lack of communication is the factor that contributes to divorce.”

Some people who aren’t even thinking about getting married right now feel that young people need time to figure out who they are as a person before getting married.

“I feel like if you are young, you still have to figure out who you are, but it can still work if they make it work,” said Yahanna Diemer, a college student.

When couples get married young, and it turns out to be not what they expected, they oftentimes regret not waiting. Other times, there are some couples who have truly found love, as Kiara believes is her case.

“I wouldn't ever regret my marriage. That would be like regretting a child. Being married at an older age is less normal than at our age, but I don't feel that way ever,” Stanton said.

“I would definitely get married young if I knew I found the right person and if I was with this person for a while prior to an engagement,” said Diemer.

Marrying not only affects the two who are getting married but also their families. There are some mothers who don’t want to see their children get married so young and that can often affect your relationship with your partner if the parents aren’t accepting the marriage as a whole.

“I've always made decisions that would affect my life on my own, like college, career, children,” Stanton said. “My mom just accepted it and warned my husband, who she already had a close relationship with, that I was a handful. His mother was less accepting, since we eloped at first, but after he talked to her, she was fine. I love my mother-in-law.”

“Parents really have to ok the individual that their child is marrying,” said Moore. “It’s the child’s decision really but it works better when the parent ok’s the person you want to marry.”

Friends also play a factor in the lives of everyone and can be a major support system. But there are friends who always tell you the truth and how they feel, which can cause problems in some relationships and friendships.

“My best friend who is no longer my best friend has always sworn off marriage and didn’t have any positive comments when she found out I was getting married,” Stanton said. “She even made an unrelated excuse to stop being my friend. So that was my one casualty.”

Getting married young is not all bad. If you find that special someone early on in life, then why wait? All marriages don't end in divorce, and like Kiara stated earlier, it’s all about communication. Without communication, you just may end up divorced unless you’re willing to work things out. In all, being happy is the most important thing and Kiara Stanton is very happy.

“He is a blast! I enjoy him and our union being secure and unquestionable is a great feeling. I enjoy being his support system,” Stanton said. “He's my partner in everything; he washes the dishes, I dry. I wash the laundry, he folds. He helps me study and vice versa. I enjoy what we have.”


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Photography by GMO Photo Editor Billy Montgomery

Samantha Battle

Samantha Battle

Samantha Battle is a recent graduate from Columbia College Chicago with a Bachelor of Arts in journalism. She was born and raised in Chicago. She has a passion for writing but also aspires to be on television one day as a reporter.

Follow her on Twitter: @SamanthaB089