The movie begins with Joel (Carrey) and Clementine (Winslet) who happen to be polar opposites, being immediately drawn to each other while on a train ride. At the time, they don’t realize that they were in fact former lovers. After a heated argument, the two of them ended their two-year relationship. Extremely hurt and disillusioned, Clementine hired a firm to erase all memories of Joel and their relationship. Joel was devastated to learn of this and elected to have the same procedure performed on him.
Have you ever wanted to have your mind erased of memories and thoughts of a relationship gone badly? What if you could magically forget all of the pain and agony of the breakup as well as ever meeting that person in the first place? Very tempting and well worth any price, right?
I have had my share of relationships that didn’t work out (or else I wouldn’t be single, right?). Some relationships were more hurtful than the actual break-up. As a matter of fact, I can think of a couple of relationships that I would’ve paid top dollar to have extracted from my recollection. But would it really have been worth it to do that?
In the movie, Joel undergoes the procedure while he is asleep. As his memories are being erased, he finds himself revisiting them in reverse. This is where things get tricky. As he takes a trip down memory lane, he encounters some very happy times with Clementine and the feelings associated with them. And he struggles to hold on to those memories.
Though many of us would like to forget the feelings of abandonment, rejection, betrayal, loneliness, etc. as a result a failed relationship, many of us can remember happier times with our ex’s. For instance, we recall the excitement we felt at the beginning of our courtships. The times we spent laughing together and the list goes on. As I spent time reflecting on my own past relationships, I realized that there were more good times than bad. I also realized I have learned so much from those former lovers and experiences that I have contributed to me being a better person today.
At the end of the film, Joel and Clementine came across their files and realize that they had been erased from each other’s memory. After being shocked and confused, they decided to give their relationship a second chance. Now, that is not an option for us. After all, we aren’t actors in a movie or concepts in some creative writer’s imagination. And there is no scientific procedure that can selectively erase part of our memories––at least not yet. We are living in the land of reality. However, we can make a conscious effort to draw on the positive aspects from previous relationships, instead of dwelling on the negative events and wishing they had never occurred. Perhaps Alfred Lord Tennyson was right. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost. Then never have loved at all.
Adiat Baker is a market research professional and aspiring image consultant who has a background in real estate finance. She currently resides in Chicago. Adiat enjoys writing in her spare time and is proud to be successfully single.
