Once you find him, he’s everything you’ve hoped for, right? Some girls can only dream. With any luck, he won’t be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for you––or so you think. In the very moment that “Mr. Right” turns out to be just another frog, your whole world falls apart. When you’ve tried everything you could think of to help you with this life- changing moment and feel you have nothing else to give, it may be time for a “divorce detox.”
Allison Pescosolido, M.A. and Andra Brosh, Ph.D co-founded Divorce Detox, a very unique business that specializes in helping those who experience difficulties as they transition from one relationship status to another.
“We built a program that helps people transition from marriage to divorce, from spouse to ex, and build a life that’s even better than before,” Allison says.
Admitting that she just “fell into” this type of business, Allison saw Divorce Detox as a great opportunity to do what she wanted to do, which was to help people. After discussing the topic of divorce with clients who sought her out as a life coach, Allison began to see a need for a program that would essentially help divorcees function in their everyday lives, especially in the workplace.
When presented with the idea, Andra began to see the immediate need, as well. It didn’t hurt that the two had more than two decades of friendship between them. Their combined passion to provide this type of support to people was the icing on the cake.
“We were just astounded at how much of a need there was immediately,” Andra notes. “There was nothing really providing this type of therapeutic support.”
Divorce Detox can be that breath of fresh air for both women and men, especially at a time when divorce rates are at an all-time high and it seems people aren’t realizing the value of relationships.
One thing that may lead people to divorce is getting into relationships without evaluating the liability of forever, Andra comments. Also, there is a lack of relationship skills, which is essentially what the women teach.
“We teach people how to have a relationship as an adult,” Allison adds. “Most of the time people model relationships after their parents with either what they saw work or didn’t work.”
In addition to that, the women also focus quite a bit on the individual’s personal growth and making the individual a priority so that he or she will eventually be a better person for themselves, and eventually someone else.
Through extensive research and various personal experiences, both women are not only experts on divorce but hold the secrets to develop and maintain healthy relationships.
Allison & Andra’s Dating Tips:
Think before kissing.
While good chemistry is an important aspect to a relationship, using your sexual attraction as the only barometer for love is dangerous. If you are looking for something that is going to last, you have to use your common sense and brain, as well. Do your due diligence and look for characteristics in a love interest that will suit you throughout the whole relationship, not just in the beginning.
Use conversation as a litmus test.
Wondering how a date is going on can be distracting and anxiety provoking. One of the ways to tell if things are going well is how easily the conversation flows. While newness always brings some awkwardness, the conversation shouldn’t be strained or forced. You are looking for a “natural fit.”
Don’t talk about past relationships.
The past does not belong in the present, and it certainly has no place on a date. If you think that sharing your deepest darkest secrets will create more intimacy you are very wrong. Be prepared with topics for your date so you aren’t tempted to gossip or bring up things that aren’t anyone else’s business.
Listen and ask questions.
Many people can’t even remember what was said on a date because they are not paying attention to what the other person is saying. Listening is essential because what your date says will give you a ton of information that will be helpful later. Listen for commonalities, red flags and any other comments that might give you some insight into this new person.
Be mature, not desperate.
It’s normal to crave a healthy relationship. Always maintain an adult approach to dating. Dating out of desperation can lead to future relationship problems. Remember that you are both looking for love; you're not the only one.
For more on Divorce Detox, visit www.divorcedetox.com.
