Women Speak Up: Different cheating situations all have the same affects

Tuesday, 03 March 2009 13:42 Written by  Priya A. Shah

The original definition of cheating is no more unscrupulous behavior but is quickly being replaced by a standing status of magnetism after school special. It’s a battle that continues to twists emotions upside down in relationships that establish songs like “Before He Cheats,” by Carrie Underwood to “What If a Woman” by Joe.

MSNBC reports in 2007, approximately one out of five adults in monogamous relationships have cheated on their current partner. Based on a MSNBC survey, 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women have admitted to a sexual liaison. Although it’s a familiar problem in marital relationships, it’s also a problem among non-martial relationships. According to three young women, only the worse can come from unethical actions: given or received.


“It was ugly,” Alana Marcelle, 22, says as she remembered the day she found out her ex-boyfriend was not only cheating on her, but also living with another woman. The college student received an unusual phone call from her former boyfriend last year. In distressed, he continuously cried and screamed on the phone without an explanation. Alana pleaded for him to calm himself and assured him she was on her way. It turned out that all the commotion was because of food poisoning. However, the night was not over yet. Alana arrived only to see the apartment was trashed with bras and panties. This was followed by a nasty confrontation with the other women. “I had found out after that big blow up that he was cheating on me all along. That girl was someone he had never really broken it off with,” says Alana. “Once that bond of trust is broken, I would never be able to trust the person completely.”

Alana wasn’t the only one who caught their partner red-handed. After being together for over two years, Marlenne Machado, 21, caught her ex-fiancée in bed with someone else. Lies on top of lies grew in their relationship and temptation came along followed by a bumpy path. “I loved this guy a lot; I knew he loved me,” says Marlenne. “[But] I couldn’t deal with the fact that he cheated on me.” Marlenne believes everyone has a soul mate, and that one day she will find hers. “Give the next guy a shot [and] a chance to prove to you that not every guy is the same,” says Marlenne despite the fact that this experience has drastically affected her dating life.

Although some women are being cheated on, some are also doing the cheating. The reasons for cheating may differ from men and women. Savannah Cooper, 23, has cheated on many of her boyfriends in the past. Since she was 14, she has never been single for more then two weeks. Currently this is the longest Savannah has been single. “Men are more impulsive, instinct driven creatures and end up doing it without much thought,” says Savannah. “Men cheat for the actual act of sex. Women cheat to feel better about themselves, even if only briefly.”

She assumes other women who cheat might feel: worthless, undeserving, self-loathing, guilty and the list can go on and on. She identifies herself with these characteristics. “Do yourself and your partner a favor and get out of your relationship,” Savannah says to all women who are currently cheating on their partner. Although she has cheated on her boyfriends, she strongly feels that if she were married she couldn’t do such a thing to her spouse. She takes the subject of marriage very seriously.

The adulterous path may possibly lead to more than just a fling. From low self-esteem to sexual temptations, the reasons for cheating are never-ending. As the characterization of cheating continues to alter the dos and don’ts, the consequences and reactions of others construct its own meaning.


Photography by Billy Montgomery

Priya A. Shah

Priya A. Shah

Priya A. Shah lives in Chicago. She graduated from Columbia College Chicago in 2010, where she studied magazine journalism and fiction writing. She has been a staff writer for GMO since 2007. She’s written and interned for various media outlets such as India Tribune, Today's Chicago Woman, Tribune Media Services, GlossMagazineOnline and Echo (the student produced magazine for Columbia College Chicago). She’s contributed to A Fresh Squeeze (afreshsqueeze.com), an online publication for green living in Chicago, and her school newspaper, The Columbia Chronicle.

Priya can be reached at Priya@glossmagazineonline.com or Priyaashvin@gmail.com